Homeward Bound
by JulieM
Summary: Third part in a series, following on from 'Close To Home' and 'Long Journey Home.' COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Third part in a series, following on from Close To Home and Long Journey Home. This takes place in an alternate world where Mattie never got hurt and Harm and Mac don't get moved to London or San Diego. The Shipper ending we were all hoping for still holds, though. Written in the third person pov.

Spoilers: None, but you have to read the first two stories in this series, if you want this to make any sense.

Disclaimer: JAG and its main characters belong to DPB and to CBS. I don't make any profit from writing any of these fics, but simply get to exercise my overactive imagination every now and then. Please don't sue me, as I'm poor with very little money!

Rating: Pretty much PG (T.) Sorry folks, but I think you'll like it anyway!

Category: H/M shipper.

Homeward Bound

Part 1

OOOOOOO

The silence of the room disconcerted Mac in a way that surprised her. She'd become so accustomed to the beeping and the other noises that came from the life support equipment over the past week that now she was painfully aware that it was gone. She shouldn't have felt this way, of course, for it was a good thing that Carol-Anne had been disconnected from the equipment. She was now breathing on her own; her body was functioning as it should have been; why wasn't she more settled about this? In a way, her anxiety levels had increased again to the point they had been when Carol-Anne was first admitted to hospital, because now that the girl didn't need all of that equipment, she would regain consciousness. And Mac didn't have any idea what she would say to her then, what she would do when the occasion required it. Carol-Anne had attempted to take her own life, had failed in the attempt and would now soon wake up and realize that for the first time. Would she be happy about that? Would she be disappointed? She would likely be in a whole lot of emotional pain again and Mac didn't have a clue how to prepare for that…In a word, Mac was scared senseless.

"You okay?" Harm asked her, when he brought in a cup of coffee for her.

"Yeah," she replied, quietly, "Just thinking."

"About what you're going to say?" Harm had obviously been thinking the same thing.

"What am I going to say?" Mac asked him, feeling the desperate need to get at least some of this off her chest, "And what is she going to say, to feel, when she wakes up and realizes?"

"That she failed to end her life?" Harm finished off the thought for her, but quietly and in a sensitive tone, "I couldn't possibly begin to pinpoint just one single answer, Mac…"

After a short pause to think, he continued, "There's a whole range of things she may feel, Mac. Whoever is with her at that point will have to prepare themselves for any eventuality."

"I said that I'd do it," Mac told him, softly, "She's going to stay with me after they discharge her, so I think I should be the one to talk to her, once she wakes up."

"Okay," Harm nodded, "well, if you need somebody to talk to, you know that I'll always be around…"

"I'll need to speak to Carol-Anne on my own," Mac quickly let him know, "but I'd really appreciate any advice you can give me. Do you have any just now? What do I say to her if she expresses regret that she didn't…'do this right'? What am I supposed to say if she tells me that?"

"She may feel that way, Mac," Harm told her, "and if she does, there will be nothing you can do to stop her feeling that way. She's been through severe trauma over that past few weeks and at this point in time she probably won't be equipped to consider the feelings of others in response to her actions. She's not even twelve years old yet, she's been separated from her mother and in response attempted to end her life and failed in doing so. If anything, you're going to have to hold back your own opinion of her actions, at least until she's in a fit state to deal with them. Just let her know that you're glad that she's still here."

"I suppose that'll be the only thing I can do," Mac sighed with frustration.

"On another note," Harm spoke up, "did you ever consider that maybe she wasn't attempting to take her life?"

"I had thought of that," Mac nodded, "the doctor said that her dose wasn't that large, at least not in term of the number of pills she took. But she probably didn't know how few of those things you have to take in order to overdose, especially if you're just a child."

Harm nodded in agreement, adding, "She's been dealing with exceptionally stressful circumstances for somebody so young. Maybe it was a cry for help?"

"In any case," Mac asked, "how am I supposed to help her in dealing with this? As if the stresses in her life weren't already enough, now she's got all of the repercussions from this to deal with as well."

"You can't board that ship until it's docked," Harm told her.

Mac was able to garner a ghost of a smile in response to that comment.

"Trust the sailor to say something like that!"

Harm gave a little chuckle, then told her, "Listen, I've got to go and interview a witness, but I shouldn't be long. I'll come back by here before I go home."

"Thanks," Mac told him sincerely, "I'll see you then."

"See you then," Harm confirmed, before he disappeared.

OOOO

A little over an hour and a half later, Mac was stirred out of her silent contemplation when Carol-Anne gently stirred beneath the covers.

Mac quickly hit the call-button for a nurse then leaned over to assess the young girl.

"Carol-Anne," she asked, "can you open your eyes, honey?"

The girl only thrashed about a bit, but looked like she was fighting to comply with Mac's request. After an uphill battle, her persistence finally won out.

Her eyes opened slowly and she seemed disoriented and groggy. Any alarm was however held at bay, seemingly by Mac's reassuring presence.

"Hey there," Mac greeted her, gently brushing her hair out of her eyes, "How are you feeling?"

"Mmm…throat…hurts," Carol-Anne croaked and Mac assessed that it must be paining her quite a bit.

"That's okay," Mac assured her, "you had a tube in to help you breathe, but it's gone now and the pain will go with time…Do you think you're up to drinking something? Maybe that might help…"

The child nodded, so Mac waited for the nurse to arrive and give approval before moving for the bottle of water at the bedside.

"Here," she tilted it to the girl's mouth, "just try not to take it too fast. You're body's probably not used to it, yet."

After a small sip, Carol-Anne laid her head back down to the pillow, sighing with the effort it had required.

"…tired," she muttered quietly, "…wanna sleep…"

Mac panicked at this revelation, but the nurse must have seen to fear on her face, because she moved to quietly reassure Mac.

"Don't worry about that," she told her, "That's quite a normal reaction to painkillers; muscle weakness, fatigue, sluggishness. It'll take a few days for the effects on her system to wear off. The best thing is just to let her sleep."

'But at least this way,' Mac thought to herself, 'I've got some more time to think.'

The logistics of caring for a young girl with the kind of troubles Carol-Anne had were by no means simple and Mac knew just how vital it was that she got this right. There was no way that she could fail her again.

OOOO

Carol-Anne woke up again shortly after Harm, Paula and Rafael left for the night. Mac hung back until visiting hours were nearly over, just in case the child woke again. She was about to rise from her seat, when the young girl opened her eyes.

"I'm really still here?" she asked, as her eyes alighted upon her 'big-sister.'

"Yes," Mac told her, asking, "How do you feel about that?"

"I don't really know," Carol-Anne replied, quietly, "I know what I did was stupid, but I wasn't really thinking straight at the time."

"It was because of what the doctors said about your Mom?" Mac asked.

The child nodded, "Yes. I was upset. I don't even remember getting back to the house. The next thing I knew, I was in the bathroom, about to take a shower and I just saw them…"

"The painkillers?" Mac knew soon after she spoke that the question was unnecessary. She already knew the answer. But Carol-Anne answered anyway with a nod of her head.

"I just thought, if they could help Rafael with the pain in his back, why shouldn't they help me, too…"

"Oh Carol-Anne," Mac took her hand, "why did you think that nobody would want to help you with your problems? A problem shared is a problem halved…there's always an alternative…nobody ever needs to resort to…"

"I wasn't trying to kill myself," Carol-Anne broke through, with surprising determination, "Well, not really…I just…I just wanted to stop hurting…I tried to reach you, but your cellphone was off…Paula and Raffie were never home and even the boys didn't understand how I was feeling. Jen doesn't even speak to me unless it's to yell or swear and Tammy is to young to understand about any of this stuff…"

"I'm sorry," Mac apologized, "I was catching a transport home. I had to put my cellphone off. Did you try to talk to anyone else? Any of your friends?"

Carol-Anne shook her head.

"All of my friends have problems of their own. Most of them don't even know about my Mom. I didn't tell many people, because I don't want everyone at school knowing. That would only bring unwanted attention."

"Kids can be a mean bunch," Mac commented, "I guess I know that better than anyone."

"Did anyone at your school give you problems, after…after…"

"After my Mom left? No, not really, but that's because few of them knew about it," Mac acknowledged what Carol-Anne had said earlier to be true, "They were too wrapped up in their own lives to even think about mine."

Carol-Anne nodded, laying her head back down. Mac gave her a smile and resumed stroking her hair.

"I do kind of understand it though, Carol-Anne," she assured the young girl, "I wasn't too much older than you when I started trying to block out the emotional pain I was in."

"Did you do something as dumb as taking a handful of painkillers?" the child asked, looking skeptical.

"Equally dumb, I'd say," Mac revealed, "I started binging on alcohol. It nearly destroyed my life and it could have taken my life at any moment. It killed my best friend and I could have easily been killed too."

"What did you do next?" Carol- Anne asked, her eyes wide and fearful.

"I turned to somebody I could trust," Mac told her, trying to convey a strength she only partially felt. Part of her still felt like that scared teenager she had once been, "And he helped my through it…Just like I'm going to be there for you."

"Was it Har…The Commander who helped you?" Carol-Anne asked, curiously.

Mac gave her a strange look, but replied, "No, it was my uncle…This was a long time ago…Why don't you get some sleep? There's no need to worry about any of that just now. We're going to work through this together and everything's going to be alright…"

And with at least a little less of the burden on her young shoulders, Carol-Anne closed her eyes and surrendered to sleep.

Mac didn't get much sleep that night, sorting through not only the feelings Carol-Anne had conveyed to her, but also her own. This was going to be a tough task ahead, one that would take a long time to settle and she only hoped that she would be up to the challenge.

Mac's prognosis was that things might get worse before they got better and her deduction turned out to be correct.

OOOOOOO


	2. Chapter 2

OOOOOOO

AN: So sorry for they huge delay in posting this story! Blame it on real life! I've been traveling quite a bit recently and I've had family staying, so combine that with work and friendship obligations and you pretty much get the brick wall that was standing in the way of posting. My sincere apologies! Also, my great thanks go out to my great beta, Anne! She's provided my with a wealth of knowledge !

Part 2

Soon after Carol-Anne emerged from her coma, her mother's doctors were in touch to say that she had suffered a relapse. She had not taken the news of her daughter's brush with death well at all and as a result her recovery was knocked back substantially.

This didn't go down well at all with Carol-Anne. Mac had hesitated in telling her, knowing just how fragile the child's emotional state still was. But when Carol-Anne asked about visiting her mother once she was discharged, there was no way that Mac could avoid telling the truth. Carol-Anne would not be able to see her mother, because her doctors were now exploring a new avenue of treatment.

"What do you mean?" Carol-Anne asked Mac, her big brown eyes open wide.

"Your mom got a little upset when she heard you were so ill," Mac explained, "Her doctors think it would be too upsetting to let you see her, just yet. They're going to try some different types of treatment and see what happens…"

"So until she's stable again, I'm not going to be able to see her…" Carol-Anne surmised, beginning to tear up.

"It's only going to be for a little while, just while the medication takes effect again," Mac tried to console her.

"That's what they told me the last time," Carol-Anne whispered, angrily, "And it took months."

"The doctors will do everything in their power to help your mom, as quickly as they can," Mac told her, "I know you're angry at them for keeping you from seeing your mom, but…"

"I'm not angry at them," the child cut her off, tears splashing down onto her flushed cheeks, "I'm angry at myself…I did this…If I hadn't upset her…"

"This isn't your fault," Mac quickly tried to catch and hold her gaze.

When the child looked away, she put a hand to the side of her face and guided Carol-Anne to look at her.

"This is not your fault," Mac repeated, "There's every indication that the medication wasn't effectively controlling your mom's symptoms and she probably would have had to change medications anyway."

She could see that this didn't do much to reassure the child, so she sat down on the side of the bed and took Carol-Anne's hands in her own.

"This is just another small setback," she attempted again, "It's not ideal, but we'll overcome it just like we'll overcome everything else in our way; together, you and me, one obstacle at a time."

With a sniffle, Carol-Anne wiped her eyes and nodded.

"Can I…just…Please can I have…a hug?" she asked, quietly.

With a smile, Mac told her, "Of course you can…anytime. You only need to ask."

Mac closed her eyes as the small pair of arms wrapped around her and she did the same. The child was hugging her as if absorbing some of her strength. Mac was sure that she could spare some and was happy to do so, so that Carol-Anne could top-up some of her lacking reserves.

OOOO

"Make yourself comfortable around here," Mac told the young girl, setting the small suitcase on the bed, "I want you to feel like this is your home away from home."

Carol-Anne smiled, softly, her initial tension relieved and then the two of them unpacked her belongings.

The guestroom was hardly what you would call 'suiting' to a twelve-year-old girl, but it was warm and comfortable and the company was good enough, so this was what mattered the most to the child.

Her birthday, a few days before had been a bit of a bust because Carol-Anne had suffered one of her lowest days in the hospital, so Mac had not pushed her about anything that day.

A few days after she had moved into Mac's place, Harriet held a very small 'celebration' (if it really even could be called that, considering) for Carol-Anne's twelfth birthday. What she and Mac's friends at JAG did want to accomplish, however, was to show Mac and especially Carol-Anne that they were there to give support, if either of them needed it. By the end of the event, even though things were still a little strained, Harriet thought that their effort had been reasonably accomplished, at least where Mac was concerned. And the new ease that Mac now experienced, in reaction to this show of support was beginning to transmit to Carol-Anne. At first, Carol-Anne had stuck rigidly to Mac's side, most often clutching her hand tightly, especially when confronted with people she didn't know well. With time, she managed to settle down and even interact with the other children present. Paula and Rafael had brought all of their foster-kids along, even Jenny, who now seemed to be much more patient with Carol-Anne.

As they were getting something to eat, Paula confided that young Jenny had actually been very shaken after Carol-Anne had been hospitalized.

"She's not a cold person, really. She just finds it hard to connect with people. Jen's been through a lot of foster homes in the time that she's been in the system."

To the surprise of everyone at the party, the person who Carol-Anne seemed to spend the most time with (apart from Mac) was Admiral Chegwidden, who was currently in DC visiting. He'd been staying with the Roberts family, who had cared for his pet dog since AJ retired and left to travel and spend some time with his daughter.

As is the case with many animals, it seemed that the dog was intuitive as to just how fragile Carol-Anne was and acted accordingly. Carol-Anne giggled for the tenth time in only a half-hour, when the rambunctious pooch seemed to wait until she was talking to him before he went to lick her. Wiping her open mouth on her arm, she smiled at AJ, who was just as taken with the young child as she was with him. Mac took the opportunity to get some advice from him later on, while Carol-Anne was absorbed in a board game with Kev, the two Jens and Harm.

"It seems to me like you're doing a great job so far, Mac," AJ told her, complimenting her, "Harriet's told me a bit about what the poor girl's been through over the past few months and it seems to me that she's made some real progress in the time she's been with you. Just follow your instincts and I'm sure they'll lead you right."

OOOO

Mac, however, was unprepared for just how much Carol-Anne would need her in the next few weeks, even more so than she had needed either of her foster-parents during her stay with them. Night-time terrors plagued her and more often than not, she found her way to Mac's bedroom.

"C'mon in," Mac would hold the cover up in invitation and settle Carol-Anne in beside her.

With soft, comforting words, Mac was usually able to calm the child down enough until she was able to drop back to sleep.

OOOO

"Are you sure you'll be okay on your own?" Mac asked as she frantically searched around the living room for her rogue shoe, "I should only be a couple of hours, but if you want, I can drop you off at Harriet's place and pick you up again when I'm finished."

Mac had been called to the brig in Norfolk urgently at the bidding of a client of hers and now she worried about leaving Carol-Anne on her own for the first time.

"No, I'll be okay," Carol-Anne shook her head, engrossed in a program on the Animal Planet channel on cable. She tore her eyes away long enough to take a quick glimpse underneath the couch, then reached under and pulled out Mac's missing shoe.

"Thank you," Mac told her, quickly pushing the shoe on and heading for the door. When she got there, she turned back for a second, as if to consider one last doubt in her head.

But Carol-Anne seemed perfectly content to sit and watch television. In fact, Mac actually doubted that the girl was still conscious of the world around her. In a way, it was good that she was able to get some respite from the troubles in her life. She had far more than her fair share of hardship in her young life.

With one last smile to herself, Mac ducked out the door and locked it after her. The sooner she got to Norfolk, the sooner this mess would get sorted out, then the sooner she would return home.

OOOO


	3. Chapter 3

OOOO

Part 3

A little over three hours later, Mac unlocked the door to her apartment. It had taken some doing; she had not stopped at all since she had left home that afternoon, but now it seemed as if all was back on track for the trial next week. She was greeted by an empty living room, but was not overly concerned at first. The television was still on and it seemed as if Carol-Anne had just left to take a bathroom break. The computer was also turned on, so Mac assumed that Carol-Anne had had plenty to do to fill in her time on her own.

Kicking off her shoes, Mac caught sight of the flashing light of her answering machine, indicating that there were messages waiting for her. She pressed the play button and listened to the first one, still left from that afternoon when the General had called to tell her about Petty Officer Davis, in the brig in Norfolk. The second was from herself, which Carol-Anne had quickly picked up, once she knew it was her big sister calling. The third however, quickly sent a shiver down Mac's spine.

"Colonel MacKenzie…This is Doctor Meadows with Bright Horizons clinic. I've got some news on Mrs. Bailey. The medication and psychotherapy treatments don't seem to be working to adequately treat her depression. But we've still got an avenue that we'd like to explore and we're confident that it could prove most helpful to Mrs. Bailey. Starting from Wednesday of next week, we're going to begin putting together plans to administer a treatment to her called ECT…That is 'Electroconvulsive Therapy'…"

'Oh my God!" Mac thought to herself, 'Is that what I think it is? Electric shock therapy? Do they still use that sort of thing?'

Mac did not have long to dwell on the thought, as her head immediately snapped round to the computer monitor, which displayed the main page for the Google search engine.

Sure enough, a search had been keyed into it, 'What is ECT?'

From the long list of hits that followed the question, Mac had a good idea that Carol-Anne now definitely knew the answer to that question. The rest of the doctor's message was ignored as Mac quickly made her way into the hallway, first peering into the bathroom, then into the guest bedroom. Both appeared to be empty, so she made her way into her room, which she also found empty. Now Mac really was beginning to panic, but she made herself take a deep breath and think about what she was going to do next. She had told Carol-Anne that under no circumstances was she to leave the apartment, but Mac knew that after what she had heard that day, the child was unlikely to be thinking straight. Who should she call first? Social services? Paula? Mrs. Bailey's doctors? Would Carol-Anne try and go there?

Mac was just passing the open door to the guest bedroom when she noticed something she had missed before. One of Carol-Anne's socked-feet was showing from behind the bed just a little bit. Mac gave a sigh of relief and went to where the child was lying on the floor, sobbing almost silently, but her little body shaking fiercely. Mac stooped down and carefully scooped her up, taking a seat on the guest bed and seating the shuddering child on her knee. She couldn't think of exactly what she could possibly say to make this okay for the child, but she would do her best to show Carol-Anne that she was not alone in all this.

"Are you okay?" Mac asked, a little while later.

The child was no longer sobbing and shaking, but still took a shuddering breath every now and then.

Carol-Anne simply shook her head.

"You heard what the doctor said about the new treatment your Mom might undergo?" Mac knew well enough the answer to that question, but she knew that it was something that the child was going to have to talk about, sooner or later.

"Yes," Carol-Anne answered, shakily.

"Do you know what ECT is?" Mac asked.

"I know that they're going to shoot electricity through her brain," Carol-Anne broke out, angrily.

"And that scares you?" Mac asked her.

"Yes!" Carol-Anne's temper flared up even more, "That's how they kill people on death row...I learned about it in school…"

"No!" Mac quickly interrupted her, "That is not what happens with ECT…"

"How is it not the same thing?" Carol-Anne asked her, angrily, "They're talking about firing electricity through my Mom's brain! What if it goes wrong and they hurt her…or she…she…"

"ECT is a proven treatment in cases of depression where medication and other kinds of therapy aren't effective on their own," Mac told her, "And I'm sure that it's very carefully monitored. They won't use anywhere near as much voltage as to hurt her and the doctors monitor the patient the whole time…How about we go and take a look on the internet, so that we can find out more about what's involved and if we're still not sure about if this is going to be the right thing for helping your Mom, then we can call her doctors and express our concerns?"

Carol-Anne just looked at her unsurely, then relented and nodded her assent. Sliding down from Mac's knee, she stood on shaky legs as Mac stood and wound her arms around the child from behind, while she guided her through to the living room and back to the computer.

Over the next hour, they had both found out much more information from the internet, which gave them a better understanding about what ECT actually involved.

"See," Mac pointed out to Carol-Anne, "It says here that ECT is a proven therapy for people suffering from severe depression or other mental illnesses that have been hard to control using drugs and psychotherapy...You remember that treatment that your Mom was getting, the last time? Behavioral therapy? That was sort of thinking about why she felt the things she did and putting them into perspective so that she could see that they weren't so bad and that she could come up with ways to deal with them…Remember, her therapist was helping her come up with approaches to deal with situations that made her start to feel nervous?"

Carol-Anne nodded her head, adding, "Yeah…she hated it, or at least the therapist she had to speak to…"

Mac gave a chuckle before continuing.

"Well, with ECT, the electricity seems to alter the chemicals produced in the brain that control how happy we feel. With people with depression, like your Mom, these have become unbalanced and are what caused the problem in the first place, causing her to feel bad. 'With regular sessions, as well as medication and/or psychotherapy, chances of recovery is good for these patients and usually proves to take effect quicker than medication'."

"But won't it hurt her?" Carol-Anne asked.

"It says here that people undergoing ECT are given special drugs to make them unconscious, just like for any other operation," Mac assured her, " It's just like falling asleep for a while and when you wake up, you don't remember anything that has happened while you've been under the anesthetic…"

While Mac was explaining this, her eyes were scanning ahead, reading the other information that the website was giving. Her eyes flitted across the words 'risk of death' and she quickly went to scroll back up, so that Carol-Anne wouldn't catch sight of it. However, she wasn't quick enough, as Carol-Anne's eyes went wide.

"WHAT!" she exclaimed, "Did that say that people DIE from having this done!"

"No," Mac quickly moved to explain to her, carefully, using language she could understand, "it said that, sometimes, a very small number of people die, usually from the drugs they were given in order to put them to sleep before the operation…but that is a very small number of people who have allergic reactions to the drugs and it's a risk with any operation. Somebody could only be having their teeth pulled under anesthetic and the same thing could happen…but it's VERY rare. And I'm sure your Mom's had anesthetic before. We'll talk to her doctor about this sort of thing, so that he can look at your Mom's medical history make sure that anything they give your Mom won't unintentionally make her ill. Doctors are very careful these days and they monitor their patients to make sure they're alright, the whole way through the operation."

"I still don't like this," Carol-Anne shook her head, "What if they don't knock her unconscious properly and she feels them hurting her?"

"The doctors have ways to make sure that their patients are asleep properly," Mac reassured her, "While you were out of it in the hospital, the doctors had you hooked up to something called an EEG machine. By looking at the read-out it gave, they could tell the difference between when you were asleep and when you were awake. They could even tell the difference between when you were in the coma and when you came out of it, but were still unconscious."

"Really?" Carol-Anne asked, "And they'd use one of these machines to make sure that my Mom was asleep properly and that she wasn't feeling any pain."

"I'm sure they would," Mac nodded, "I can call Doctor Meadows and we'll set up a meeting with him and your Mom, so that he can explain everything to us all. That way, once we have all the facts, we can decide if this is something we want to continue with, or whether it would be better to look into other treatments."

"Okay," Carol-Anne nodded, secure in the knowledge that she wasn't being forced into making any decision just yet.

OOOO

"What are you up to, tonight?" Harm asked Mac, as they got ready to leave the office on Friday night.

"I've got a meeting at the clinic," Mac told him, "so that Carol-Anne and her Mother and I can get a progress report from her doctor. What about you? Got a hot date?"

Harm choked off a laugh and shook his head. He resisted the urge to tell her that he had been about to ask her if she wanted to go out for dinner. They hadn't done a whole lot together lately, since Carol-Anne had come to live with Mac, but Harm more than understood that, having gone through the adjustment phase with Mattie, when she came to live with him. He was just feeling a little sorry for himself, now that Mattie was back to living with her Dad and he was now on his own again. He mentally told himself to suck it up.

"I wish," he told Mac, "just a date with my guitar, I guess. Maybe I'll order dinner in. The Chinese restaurant around the corner is good and they don't charge me for delivery, since I'm a regular and I live so close by."

Ooo!" Mac teased him, "The last of the big spenders!"

Harm just gave a laugh and changed the topic.

"So how is Mrs. Bailey doing? Is that new medication working out?"

Mac shook her head ruefully.

"No, and it's turning into a real problem. Remember that day last week when I got called out to the Brig at Norfolk and I had to assist Petty Officer Davis? Remember how I had to leave Carol-Anne on her own for a few hours? Well, Mrs. Bailey's doctor chose that time to call and leave a message on my answer machine about how the medication and psychotherapy aren't working for her and how they were beginning to explore the option of electroconvulsive therapy."

Harm nearly dropped his briefcase and turned to Mac with shock written on his face.

"My God!" he frowned, "And she heard what he said?"

Mac nodded.

"Did she understand just what 'electroconvulsive therapy' was?"

"She did after doing a Google search," Mac told him, darkly, "and it scared the hell out of her. She was a mess when I finally got home. I really need to start child-proofing my house and put security measures on my internet service."

"That poor kid!" Harm shook his head, "I don't know what I would have done if I'd been in her place when I was her age…"

"You went through plenty when you were approaching your teens," Mac pointed out, "And you still turned out fine."

"I went through plenty that I had a hard time dealing with," Harm pointed out, "but I had the support of my Mother, Frank and other family members. Her Mother is the only family Carol-Anne has to turn to and these decisions involve her Mother directly. She can't even see her Mom."

They were by now in the elevator, alone, so Harm took a chance and reached out to Mac, taking her hand in his. This caught her a little off-guard, but she didn't attempt to pull her hand away.

"This is a really great thing you're doing, Mac," Harm told her, softly, "You're making all the difference in this child's life, at a time when she needs somebody the most…"

Mac could only smile in appreciation at his kind words and sentiments.

"I'm really proud of you, Ninja-girl…"

It had been a while since they'd used their old pet-names for each other, but Mac didn't feel in the least self- conscious as she squeezed Harm's hand back and replied,

"Thank you, Fly-boy…You have no idea how much that means to me."

With a last smile, they left the building and went separate ways to collect their cars.

OOOO

It had been nearly three weeks since their meeting with Mrs. Bailey's doctors and Mac had thought that Carol-Anne had understood and reacted to their explanation very well. Both Mrs. Bailey and her daughter had discussed the matter and had both agreed that electro-convulsive therapy did seem like their best option at that moment, one that would provide quicker and probably more effective results. The doctors had allowed Carol-Anne to see her Mother before and after the first procedure was carried out. That way, the girl was able see that the treatment was not causing her Mother any physical harm. However, after that, Carol-Anne was not allowed to see her mother, not until two weeks after the first set of treatments were completed. Later on, Carol-Anne again would not be able to visit her Mother while the second and third sets of treatment were on-going.

It was during these times that Carol-Anne suffered her worst bouts of anxiety.

Mac first became alarmed when Carol-Anne showed up at the office one afternoon after school.

"Carol-Anne?" she made her way over to where the child had emerged from the elevator, "Sweetie, what are you doing here? Did Mrs. McCafferty drop you off?"

The child just nodded, refusing to speak and Mac was sure she saw the hint of tears in her eyes.

"Are you okay? How was school today?" she tried again, gently.

"Horrible," Carol-Anne got out, bitterly, then asked, sarcastically, "And how was your day?"

OOOO


	4. Chapter 4

OOOO

Ch 4.

"I'm sorry Sweetie," Mac ignored the comment, because she knew there was definitely something else troubling the girl, "how about a hug to make it bet…"

Carol-Anne pulled away from her as if she'd been burned, with an incredulous look on her face. Mac immediately realized and apologized.

"I'm sorry, I forgot the 'rules'…How about we take this to my office?"

Carol-Anne didn't say anything, but still moved towards Mac's office.

Once the door was shut, before the blinds were even pulled, Carol-Anne was in Mac's arms, huddling close.

"So what happened that made your day so bad?" Mac asked, gently stroking Carol-Anne's hair.

"School is so stupid!" Carol-Anne spat, "I wish I didn't have to go…"

"I know, Sweetie," Mac consoled, adding, "But you have to…Your Mom is going to be so proud of you for keeping your grades up, despite everything that's been going on."

The truth was that Carol-Anne's grades had not been as high as they should have been, but with all that the child was going through, Mac had decided to cut her some leeway and just try to help and encourage her as much as possible. She was a very smart kid, so her lower-than-usual wouldn't do her academic record any harm, anyway.

"And I hate all of the people there!" The girl added, viciously.

"Your friends?" Mac asked, hoping that what she was suspecting wasn't true, "They haven't been saying anything mean, have they?"

"Not exactly," Carol-Anne murmured, "but it's still pretty mean to laugh at someone, isn't it? They all laughed right in my face…and even the teacher laughed too…"

"The teacher laughed at you?" Mac exclaimed, ready to go down to Carol-Anne's school, find the teacher and ream him or her a new one, "Why on earth did he do that?"

"Because I couldn't do the equations on the board," Carol-Anne told her, "I said that I didn't understand it, so I couldn't complete it. But he said that he'd just showed the entire class how it was done, so how could I not know how to complete it. Then I said that I couldn't understand it, because it didn't seem to make sense and then he accused me of not paying attention in class…so I said that maybe if his class wasn't so boring, then maybe people would pay more attention…and then everyone began to laugh…"

Mac sighed.

"Even the teacher?" she asked.

Carol-Anne nodded, murmuring, darkly, "But I still say it was mean of them all to laugh at me…"

"Sweetie," Mac hugged her, "I'm sure that they weren't laughing at you. You're lucky that this teacher…"

"Mr. Griply," Carol-Anne supplied.

"Mr. Griply," Mac continued, "found it amusing as well. He could have given you detention. But I agree that he had no right to accuse you of not paying attention, just because you didn't understand. I think I need to pay this guy a visit, to make sure he knows to treat his students with a bit more patience in future…In the meantime, I think we need to sit down and go through these equations…"

Carol-Anne nodded and fished out her Math book from her bag.

Mac gave her the comfortable chair at her desk and pulled around one of the visitor's chairs and sat down beside her.

"Okay," Mac looked over the page Carol-Anne opened to, "just explain for me a little of what Mr. Griply was saying, in class."

"Okay," Carol-Anne paused, getting her thoughts in order, "He wrote these two equations down on the board. We've been doing equations for a couple of days, but now we're working on 'simultaneous equations.'"

"You're already doing simultaneous equations?" Mac asked, surprised.

"Uh-huh," the girl told her, nonchalantly, "now we're doing simultaneous equations, but I don't know how. The first set we did at the end of class yesterday made sense, but now I can't seem to get them right. And nobody else seems to have any trouble with them."

'I can't remember being that far-on with math, when I was her age,' Mac thought to herself, but remained silent, 'Maybe she's in advanced math…Damn, I wish I could remember something about doing this sort of work…'

"Why don't you start with something you did yesterday and got correct," Mac suggested, "That way I can get a refresher course with this stuff, because it's been a long time since I've had to do anything like this."

"Okay, these are the equations," Carol-Anne nodded and proceeded to go through her train of thought, " 9X – 2Y 37, 4X + 2Y 28. First of all, the –2Y and + 2Y cancel each other out, so we get left with 9X 37 and 4X 28. And then we have to add them together…"

"I think I get this, so far," Mac nodded, although she had been right when she said about having not done this sort of stuff for a long time.

"So we have…13X 65…so if we divide 65 by 13, we solve for X…"

Mac was still following, but warned herself not to let her attention drift, in case she got lost.

"And X 5."

"Is that it, or do we have to do something else?" Mac asked.

"Um, we still need to solve for Y…So we replace X in one equation with the number 5…"

Carol-Anne did so.

"So that means that 20 + 2Y 28. So we take 20 away from 28 and that leaves us with 8. So 2Y 8. So we can solve for Y…X 5 and Y 4."

"Wait a minute," Mac stopped her, something coming back to her, "As I remember, you aren't finished until you check the second equation, too."

"But I already know that my answers are right…" Carol-Anne protested.

"But you have to check your answers, just in case," Mac insisted, "Just to make sure that you haven't gotten it wrong."

Carol-Anne gave a huff and checked her answers using the first equation.

"9x5 - 2x4 37…45-837…Yeah, that's right…"

"Good," Mac approved, explaining, "you need to make sure that you check your answers with both equations, before you move onto the next question, so that you don't end up with the wrong answer like what happened today…So, show me what you were doing today and we'll see if we can figure out where you're going wrong…"

Carol-Anne again began to talk Mac through the problem, going over each of the steps required, until she again hit the brick wall she had encountered during class that day.

"I end up with X 0 and Y 4 for the first equation, but that doesn't make sense for the second equation…"

Mac pondered while she tried to assess just where Carol-Anne was going wrong.

This was how Harm found them, when he knocked on Mac's door to ask her opinion about a case.

"Anything I can help with?" he asked, interested, as he approached Mac's desk where they were sitting.

"How good are you with simultaneous equations?" Mac asked, a perplexed expression on her face, "It's been too long since I've done anything like this…"

"Algebra?" Harm asked, "It's the bane of Mattie's existence. I still help her out a little…Are you doing simultaneous equations already, Carol-Anne? What, are you taking advanced math?"

Carol-Anne just nodded, morosely, so Harm jumped into the algebra with both feet.

"Okay," he read through the set of equations and started to follow Carol-Anne's working-out, "Yes…that makes sense…okay, I think that is correct…Up until here…"

He pointed out where Carol-Anne had gone wrong, "Negative numbers can be very troublesome, because when you need to subtract a negative number, you can't…"

Mac looked at Harm disbelievingly, now completely lost.

"Seriously," Harm insisted, "You cannot subtract negative 2. In this case, you would add 2. 'subtract –2' would mean '+ 2'."

"Of course!" the girl grinned, with relief.

Something obviously clicked in Carol-Anne's head,

"Mr. Griply did say that! Now I remember! Instead of subtracting a negative number, you add it! Thanks, Harm!"

"So, try and continue with the equations, now," Harm encouraged.

Carol-Anne did so, solving for both X and Y, then checking her answers with both equations.

"Does that make sense, now?" Mac asked, to which Carol-Anne nodded and proceeded into the next problem in her workbook with gusto.

"Thanks," Mac turned her attention back to Harm, who waved it off.

"Mattie and I spent many a night working through stuff like that. Eventually, we turned to a mathematics help-site on the internet. Mattie still uses it, occasionally," he explained then noted, "Carol-Anne seems to be into pretty advanced math."

"It would help if she liked it, though," Mac smiled.

Harm laughed.

"It would have certainly helped me!" he agreed.

Since Carol-Anne was now settled into her homework, Harm and Mac took the time in going over the problems they were encountering with their own work.

OOOO

The next evening, Mac managed to schedule an appointment with Carol-Anne's Mathematics teacher, Mr. Griply (or as Carol-Anne liked to refer to him as; 'Mr. Gripe-ly.') Mac had to admit, the man seemed to be quite old-school and knew nothing about what had been going on in Carol-Anne's home-life. After explaining Carol-Anne's situation, she managed to get the man to agree to exercise some patience with students like Carol-Anne and to be discrete about what Mac had disclosed to him. Whether it was because he could at least empathize with Carol-Anne's ordeal or because Mac was still in her Marine Colonel's uniform, she wasn't sure. Maybe it was a little of both.

Afterwards, she and Carol-Anne dropped by Harm's apartment with a pizza, to thank him for his help. At least, that is what Mac told Carol-Anne. She'd had an inkling that Harm had been about to ask her for her company the other week, when they'd had the meeting with Mrs. Bailey's doctors.

"Hey there!" Harm smiled, pleasantly surprised.

"We're not catching you at a bad time, are we?" Mac asked, unsurely.

"Not at all," Harm shook his head, "I'm always glad to see you two!"

Carol-Anne giggled quietly as she looked knowingly at Mac. As young as she was, she'd noticed the undercurrents that ran between the two of them.

"We brought a pizza and some garlic bread, if you haven't already eaten," Mac asked, "Carol-Anne wanted to thank you again for your help with her homework, yesterday. We might still be struggling through it, if it weren't for you. Isn't that right, Carol-Anne?"

Carol-Anne resisted the urge to roll her eyes, not because she wasn't grateful for Harm's help, but because the pizza hadn't been her idea, but Mac's. And now Mac was trying to convince both her and Harm (and perhaps herself) that it had originally Carol-Anne's idea! The woman was deluded! It was all so cute!

"Is Jen around?" Mac asked, "Would she like some pizza too?"

Carol-Anne was about to open her mouth to object, but Harm explained that Jen was out with friends that night.

'Good,' Carol-Anne thought to herself, 'Jen's a lovely person, but I think that I'll be enough of a third wheel in this 'date' as it is.'

Now she just had to find a way to make herself scarce so that Harm and Mac could spend some time alone.

They all tucked into dinner then put on a DVD and partway through it, Carol-Anne feigned falling asleep. Harm carried her through to the bedroom so that she could get some sleep. Harm and Mac didn't bother to check on her again for a couple of hours, until it was time to go home, so Carol-Anne assumed that the evening must have gone well. When Mac came to rouse her, she was both patient and happy-looking, so that pleased Carol-Anne and the two of them passed the journey home pleasantly, before turning in for the night.

OOOO


	5. Chapter 5

OOOO

Part 5

"Can I get you anything, Carol-Anne, sweetheart?"

Carol-Anne smiled up at the short, blond woman who sort of reminded her of a blond version of her own Mom.

"No thank-you, Harriet. I had a drink before we left the house."

"Well, Bud and Harm are out-back with the children, flying a radio controlled plane that AJ got for Christmas, if you want to see them," Harriet told her.

"May I, Mac?" Carol-Anne asked.

"Sure, sweetie," Mac ran a hand over her long, dark hair, "Have fun, but remember, we've got to get going, soon."

"Okay," Carol-Anne nodded and hurried out of the kitchen and into the back yard.

"How's she doing?" Harriet asked, once the child was gone.

"She's okay," Mac nodded, "Sometimes she has a bad day or two, but I think things are getting easier for her, now that her Mom's doctors are keeping her in the loop."

"And Mrs. Bailey?"

"She seems to have responded well to treatment, but we don't know anything for sure just yet," Mac told her, "I think Carol-Anne finds it harder that we're not seeing fast results, than anything else."

As a mother, Harriet could sympathize, because she knew what it was like to be separated from your child. She and Bud had lost their second child, their first daughter. She couldn't imagine how much it must upset Carol-Anne, as the girl was at such a critical age, the age in life where a girl really relied heavily upon her Mother.

OOOO

"Lieutenant?" Mac called out from her office, as Harriet passed the door, "Could I ask your opinion on something?"

"Sure, Colonel," Harriet came in and closed the door behind her, "What was it you wanted to know?"

"When you were twelve years old, how seriously did you take things like this?" Mac asked her, handing her a paper flyer.

"Valentine's Day dance," Harriet read the flyer, "Cute…I must say, I never passed up an opportunity to get together with my friends and gossip about boys. You got this from Carol-Anne?"

"Yeah," Mac nodded, "She didn't tell me about it, though. I found it when it fell out of her bag. At first I thought that maybe she just wasn't into things like that, but now I'm not so sure. I mean, I never took part in things like this when I was a kid. I tried my best not to attract any unnecessary attention, but I keep catching Carol-Anne looking at the clothes in the stores windows…"

"You think she doesn't have anything to wear?" Harriet asked.

"Maybe," Mac nodded, "I wouldn't mind taking her out shopping for something to wear, but I have no idea what is appropriate…"

"Attire for a twelve year old?" Harriet finished, with a smile, "Well, Mac, I wouldn't worry about it too much. I'm sure she wouldn't try to push the limits too much. I mean, she's a very pretty girl, but I don't think she's a sex bomb-rebel in the making!"

"And what about make-up?" Mac asked, now really beginning to worry, "What if she wants to wear make-up? How old do kids have to be these days before they're allowed to wear make-up?"

"I certainly didn't wear make-up when I was twelve years old," Harriet told her, "I doubt things have changed that much, but maybe that's just my opinion…Why don't you ask her?"

Mac's gaze jumped up and looked incredulously at Harriet, so she amended, "Okay, maybe not ask her…but maybe a Mom of one of the kids at Carol-Anne's school? How about that Mrs. McCafferty, who picks Carol-Anne up on Wednesdays and Fridays?"

"No," Mac shook her head, "her kids are all younger than Carol-Anne…"

"Carol-Anne's social worker? Is she in town, right now?" Harriet suggested.

"Great idea, Harriet!" Mac exclaimed, grabbing up the phone receiver.

Harriet watched with a smile as Mac called the woman and stumbled through the conversation. It was hard enough that she was trying to play guardian to a twelve year-old-girl, but she was doing so without being able to get advice from the child's mother. Harriet knew that Mac had spent many of her teenage years without the influence of her own mother, so could only guess how difficult Mac was finding all of this.

"Uh-huh…" Mac listened intently to Carol-Anne's social worker, "Yeah…so wait and see if she brings it up? Do you think she will? She hasn't said anything about this dance that's going on at her school…You think so? Yeah, I could do that, no problem…and the thing about make-up…Yeah, okay…Thanks…"

After Mac hung up, she turned to Harriet.

"Tessa said that I should spend some time trying to get Carol-Anne to open up to me. If she doesn't tell me anything about this dance at her school, then she thinks maybe it doesn't really men that much to Carol-Anne. As for the whole make-up thing, Tessa doesn't think that it's all that unusual for a kid Carol-Anne's age to want to experiment with make-up."

"At twelve years old?" Harriet was surprised, commenting wryly, "I guess things have moved on since when you and I were young…"

"Well, she said not to let Carol-Anne take it too far. Just for the night and not to school or on an everyday basis. Maybe just let her use a product or two. And she thought that taking her out shopping was a good idea, because she never had new clothes before she went back to school, this semester. But I'm not so sure how I feel about letting her wear make-up…"

"How about getting her some of that tinted lip-gloss…or maybe a light colored eye-shadow?" Harriet suggested, "I mean, it is make-up, but it's still very subtle. She's certainly not old enough to start worrying about anything else. I doubt she even knows how to put on eye-shadow."

"Yeah," Mac nodded, trying to feel more confident, "and Tessa said that as long as I dropped her off and picked her up, then everything should be fine. These things are usually chaperoned and it won't run too late. And I should just tell her that I'll pick her up whenever all of her friend's parents are showing up."

"You definitely don't want to show up before everyone else's parents do," Harriet confirmed, "She won't thank you for that."

"Maybe I should take the time to sit down with her so that we can go over the rules again," Mac shook her head, feeling the pressure beginning to get a bit much, "I'd hate to embarrass her in front of her friends. And I'd like to put a few of my own into effect, now that I think about it…"

Harriet smiled and nodded, "Maybe that would prove helpful. Is there anything else you need, Ma'am, or could I get back to work?"

"That's fine, Harriet," Mac smiled in thanks as she dismissed her, "and thanks for all your help."

OOOO

"Hey there," Mac greeted Carol-Anne, as she waited in her SUV to pick her up outside the school, "Did you have a good day?"

"Yeah," the girl seemed strangely subdued, "It wasn't too bad. How come you're here

and not Mrs. McCafferty?"

"I just thought I'd take the afternoon off and we'd do something," Mac told her, "You feel up to going shopping at the mall?"

"That sounds good," Carol-Anne nodded, asking, "Can we get ice-cream?"

"Sure," Mac nodded, starting up the car once Carol-Anne had fastened her seat-belt.

They passed the afternoon pleasantly then Carol-Anne finally came out with what

She had been mulling over.

"Mac?" she asked, "When you were my age, did you go to any of the dances that your school organized?"

"Sometimes, yeah," Mac answered, although the truth was that she had usually stayed away from things like that, but she didn't want to influence Carol-Anne's decision.

"Well, there's this thing going on at my school next week and I wasn't sure if I would go."

"Why not?" Mac asked.

"I kinda don't have anything to wear," Carol-Anne replied, "I mean, everybody has seen me in every outfit I own because I wear them to school. I wish I'd thought to put some things aside, before I started back at the beginning of the semester."

"But then you'd be wearing the same things all of the time," Mac pointed out.

"Yeah," the girl nodded, "I guess…and that wouldn't have gone down real well. Some of the girls in my year are really snotty. Their parents can afford to buy them new clothes all of the time, but money was really tight for while, when it was just my Mom and me."

"Yeah," Mac commiserated, " 'Queen Bee Syndrome.' Believe me, I know all about that. But it doesn't last forever, I promise. One day every one of those girls is going to grow up and realize that other kids are good people, despite the amount of money their parents bring home. You're a great kid, Carol-Anne and I promise one day people will grow out of their own insecurities and see that. But in the meantime, I think we should formulate our own battle-plan."

"What kind of a battle-plan?" Carol-Anne asked.

"How about we get you some new clothes?" Mac suggested, "Tessa just happened to mention that you didn't get any new clothes before you went back to school last semester."

"My Mom didn't feel up to going out shopping," Carol-Anne confirmed.

"Okay," Mac nodded, then continued, "Well, let's go shopping, then. We'll pick out something for you to wear to the dance and a few other outfits for you to wear to school."

OOOO


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Sorry I didn't post this week, but could for the life of me sign in here! I'm going to post twice today to make it up to you!

OOOO  
Part 6

Once they were in the department store, they picked out a couple of  
outfits for Carol-Anne to wear to school, but had more trouble with  
finding something for her to wear to the school dance.

"What about this?" Carol-Anne asked pointing out a skirt.

"Isn't it a bit um…formal for a school dance?" Mac asked, biting back  
the urge to use the term short,' "You'd probably be a bit more  
comfortable in jeans or a pair of pants."

"Okay," Carol-Anne nodded in agreement, "But nothing in pink, okay?  
I can't stand pink."

Mac laughed and gave her a quick hug before pulling her in the  
direction of the junior-wear. This section was just a bit mature for  
Mac's liking.

OOOO

"What's up?" Harm asked as Mac sorted through a bag of products she'd  
picked up from the make-up counter at the store.

"Uh, just about to help Carol-Anne get ready for her school dance,"  
Mac told him, "What are you still doing here? It's nearly six-  
thirty."

"Just playing catch-up with the paperwork," Harm told her, reaching  
to pick up some of the items that Mac had tipped out of the plastic  
bag.

"Lip-gloss, eye-shadow, blush and make-up brush," Mac supplied for  
him, "You don't think it's a bit too much for a twelve-year-old, do  
you?"

"You're asking the wrong person," Harm told her, "Mattie's a lot  
older than Carol-Anne. But no, I don't think so. This is just for  
this dance, isn't it? She's not planning to wear this to school  
everyday, is she?"

"No," Mac shook her head, firmly, "definitely not."

"Then I suggest you lock it up in your dresser drawer after tonight,"  
Harm recommended, "Mattie had this friend called Hailey who used to  
bring it with her to school and put it on there, then take it off  
again before she came home. She knew her parents would never let her  
out of the house with any of that stuff on her face. They were a  
little over-the-top strict, though."

"Do you really think she'd do that?" Mac asked, worriedly.

"No," Harm assured her, "Just be prepared to make some small  
concessions and she'll feel that she won't have to hide stuff from  
you. Kids like to be listened to."

"I guess I can negotiate," Mac smiled, "I am a lawyer, after all."

"The best one I know of," Harm smiled back.

"So, what do you think?" Carol-Anne asked, from the doorway.

Harm and Mac turned around and smiled at the girl.

"You look great, Sweetie," Mac told her, "Those jeans look great on  
you. Much better than the low-cut pair."

Harm remembered a similar conversation with Mattie.

"Nice blouse," Harm commented, "Mattie would love something like  
that."

It was obviously the right thing to say, if Carol-Anne's reaction was  
anything to go by.

"She would?" her eyes lit up, "And Mattie's sixteen? How about you?  
Do you like it?"

"It's great," Harm nodded, "Did Mac help you, or did you pick it out  
on your own?"

"I saw it and I loved it, instantly," Carol-Anne told him, "But Mac  
liked it too."

"Yeah, Mac's got good taste," Harm nodded, adding, "I wouldn't  
discount everything she tells you, if I were you."

"No," Carol-Anne smiled, "she is pretty cool, isn't she?"

"Thank you," Mac mouthed to Harm and he answered with a quick wink.

OOOO

Mac was at the school at the appointed time, along with Harm who was  
catching a ride with her, because his car was in the shop. They  
found Carol-Anne and her friend Sunny sitting on their own at the  
steps to the school entrance. Sunny's mother and father were working  
late shifts at the hospital in Georgetown and Mac had offered to drop  
the girl at home, where her older brother and sister were waiting,  
that evening.

"Hey there," Mac greeted them through her open window as she shut off  
the engine, "How was it? Did you two have a good time?"

"Yeah," they both replied, non-commitally, "It was okay…"

At that moment, a group of girls came out of the building, all  
dressed much older than their twelve years. The girl Mac supposed  
was the leader of the pack, dressed in a short, short denim mini, a  
tank top and was perched on tall, high heels gave a brief look to  
Carol-Anne.

"Cute blouse," she commented, but the tone of her voice belied the  
true sentiment.

Mac's eyes narrowed as she remembered just how badly some of  
the popular girls' at her own school had treated her, when she had  
been in Carol-Anne's place. With only a glance at Mac, Harm knew  
what he was to do.

"Hey Carol-Anne?" he got out of the Vette and leaned over the  
hood, "You feel like going out somewhere? We could go downtown…"

Mac got out and together she and Harm strode across to where Carol-  
Anne and Sunny, and the now rooted young girls from their year were  
standing. It certainly helped that Harm was now dressed in a pair of  
jeans and a shirt that showed off his muscular upper body. Mac tried  
to suppress a smile as she saw the deer-in-headlights look upon the  
face of every one of the young girls, even Sunny.

"Can Sunny come too?" Carol-Anne asked, not even missing a beat.

"Sure," Mac replied.

With a last haughty wave to the snotty girl they were leaving behind  
them, Carol-Anne and Sunny strode off towards the Vette.

"Did you see the looks on their faces!" Sunny exclaimed once they  
were far enough away, "I thought Kerry was going to swallow her  
tongue!"

Carol-Anne laughed.

"Thanks, Harm, Mac. You have no idea how sweet that felt! I've been  
waiting since the third grade to do something like that to her! So,  
where are we going downtown?"

Mac gave Carol-Anne a warning look.

"What?" the girl laughed, innocently, "Harm said we're going downtown…  
Where are we going?"

"How about the ice-cream parlor?" Harm asked, "That's about the only  
place downtown suitable for two twelve-year-old girls, at this time  
of night!"

"Hey, that's fine with me!" Carol-Anne exclaimed, "I'm just glad that  
Kerry and the hive' heard what you said and jumped to the wrong  
conclusion."

Sunny laughed and nodded in agreement.

OOOO

"Can I wear one of my new outfits to school, tomorrow?" Carol-Anne  
asked, on Sunday night.

"Uh, why don't you wait until mid-week," Mac suggested.

"Uh, okay…why?" Carol-Anne looked at her, curiously.

"You've got to know how to play the game, Sweetie," Mac  
explained, "You just start wearing new clothes to school the first  
day back after the school dance and those girls are going to have you  
figured out. Wear them mid-week and only wear one new item with  
something old, or it'll be too obvious. Don't wear all your new  
clothes in the first week, or it won't last very long. This way, you  
keep people guessing and they'll be dying with anticipation to see  
what you pull out of your hat next."

"That's great!" Carol-Anne exclaimed, "where did you learn all of  
that? You wear a uniform to work everyday…"

"Just because I'm a marine, doesn't mean that I don't know how to  
make my clothes work for me," Mac told her, "But I was much more  
timid than you, when I was your age. It was a long time after that I  
learned anything about clothes."

"Then who taught you this kinda stuff?" Carol-Anne asked, "and where  
can I find her?"

"It was just trial and error," Mac shook her head, "And bits and  
pieces of advice that I got from friends."

OOOO

Before too long, Carol-Anne was allowed to resume her visits to her  
Mom, in the rehab center. Carol-Anne immediately noticed the change  
in her Mother and that gave her cause for hope. Her mood swings were  
much better, her concentration had improved, but she was incredibly  
self-conscious, not wanting to leave her room, not even for meals.

"Why don't we eat lunch out in the dining room?" Carol-Anne  
encouraged, gently.

"I like to eat here," Mrs. Bailey insisted, quietly, "I don't know  
any of the other patients here and I don't want to."

"I'm sure that they're nice people," Mac attempted to help, "They  
seemed very friendly to me. Maybe you could get involved in some of  
the activities going on here? It'll be fun and will get you out of  
your room. It can't be easy, spending all this time on your own."

"I'm letting these doctors help me," the woman shook her head, "but  
that's it…"

She turned her attention back to her daughter, "I'm so glad you're  
here, Honey  
My doctors said you can come visit whenever you want to, now. Are  
you going to be able to come tomorrow?"

"I've got Kung Fu practice, tomorrow," Carol-Anne shook her head  
ruefully, "but I'll make sure to come on Wednesday."

"Carol-Anne's been doing really well with school," Mac told the  
woman, "She's working really hard. Her teachers can't wait to tell  
you all about it, the next time you go to a teacher-parent  
conference."

"That's not soon, is it?" Mrs. Bailey looked worried, but Mac  
reassured her, "No, there's no time when you have to go. Whenever  
you feel up to it, Carol-Anne's teachers would be glad to set up a  
meeting with you, some time outside school hours."

This settled Mrs. Bailey again, so Mac took a seat and allowed Carol-  
Anne to spend some alone time with her Mother.

OOOO


	7. Chapter 7

OOOO

"Is she here?" Carol-Anne asked, anxiously and she wandered over after she had completed warming up, grabbing a bottle of water.

"Not yet," Mac shook her head, "but maybe she's just in a traffic jam or something. Go and register and get a program, I'll keep an eye out for your Mom."

Carol-Anne ran off in the direction of the registration table and Mac took out her cellphone. A call to Cheryl's apartment yielded nothing, so she called Cheryl's therapist at the clinic. Her worst fears were pretty much confirmed.

"Dr. Jorgensen is out of his office to consult with a patient," the man's secretary told her, "Would you like to leave a message for him?"

"Could you just ask him to call Colonel MacKenzie, when he returns, please?"

Mac heard the scratching of a pencil on paper as the woman took down the message and so ended the call.

"Any news?" Carol-Anne was back, with her registration number and a program that showed she was third in the second division of the competition.

"No," Mac shook her head, "You're not on straight away, so let's give her some more time. She might still make it."

Carol-Anne was distracted for a while, as later Harm showed up, still in his uniform just like Mac.

"Glad to see I'm not too late," he announced his presence, standing behind them where they were watching the first sparring session, "My apologies, but court ran late."

"Harm!" Carol-Anne grinned and leaned over to hug him, "I'm so glad you're here! I'm so nervous, I feel like I'm gonna puke!"

"You'll do fine," Harm gave Carol-Anne and Mac a hug and steered the two of them down to get a closer look at the sparring going on, "Mac and I are going to give you some pointers, so you know just what to avoid…"

They sat at the front, watching the two fighters exchanging moves.

"Try to keep from bringing your arms in towards your body like that," Mac began the lesson, pointing at one of the young teenagers competing, "By keeping your guard open and away from your body; your opponent is less likely to get a strike at your body through it."

"Don't put too much energy into your moves, either," Harm added, "In competition, it is the placement and timing of the punch or kick and not the force that are judged. It's important to control your force, because you can exhaust yourself if you don't."

"And keep moving," Mac continued "If you keep moving, back and forth, your opponent will find it harder to catch you with a punch; keep changing feet, keep moving around, keep it unpredictable. But don't let them back you into a corner, keep an eye out for how much space you have behind you, whether you still have an exit if you'll need it."

"At times," Harm picked up the commentary, "try and keep your body low. Because you're shorter, you'll actually have an advantage over you're opponent, because it may open up an way to get a punch to their belt-line."

With the lesson over, Carol-Anne went to stretch and loosen up a bit more, until it was her turn to enter the sparring arena. She donned her fist guards and took her place, bowing first to her opponent, then to the referee. She did very well, considering this was her first competition. She was first paired up against a fellow first-timer, whom she easily beat. The second round was not so easy, but she had the advantage of shorter stature and Harm and Mac were delighted when the last bout was awarded to Carol-Anne (she and her opponent had won two bouts each, so far.) She didn't win her next fight, but managed to get a few good jabs in, so they were actually close to drawing, but her energy failed her at the last moment. The opponent was however more advanced than her, so she came away with pride that she had managed to get as far as she did. After being awarded a trophy, Carol-Anne left it with Harm and Mac as she went to warm up for the weapons display that was traditional after the sparring was complete and the awards ceremony had taken place.

"So what happened to Cheryl?" Harm asked Mac.

"I don't know," Mac sighed, shaking her head, sadly, "I spoke to her this morning, reminded her the time the competition started, when she'd need to set off from home by and she said she'd be here. But her therapist is out seeing a patient, so maybe she wasn't able to leave the house, this time. That happened a couple of weeks ago, when Carol-Anne had a parent-teacher conference, but Dr. Jorgensen managed to anticipate it, swing by and get her there on time, anyway."

"It hasn't been easy for her," Harm sympathized, "But she is getting better."

"It's just a slow process," Mac added, "and Carol-Anne is finding it hard to understand."

They had to silence their talk while the display was going on and were impressed by the skill Carol-Anne had acquired in the short time that she'd been taking part in the Kung Fu training going on at her school. She enjoyed the sparring aspect of the sport, but weapons-training was her real forte.

"The girl's got serious skill!" Harm noted, smiling as they watched Carol-Anne perform a routine with a bamboo staff.

"She does," Mac smiled, wondering how she was going to explain why her mother hadn't attended, "She's got amazing concentration and great perseverance."

OOOO

"So you called Dr. Jorgensen?" Carol-Anne asked, on the way home, "What did he say?"

"I only got his secretary," Mac told her, "She said that he was out consulting with a patient."

"Do you think it was my Mom?" the girl asked, worriedly.

"I don't know," Mac shook her head, "But let's stop by your Mom's just to check she's okay."

They soon saw that Cheryl was physically fine, but she was sitting in the lobby of the apartment building and looked badly shaken. Dr. Jorgensen was with her and it seemed that that was as far as she could push herself, that day.

Mac saw Carol-Anne's expression become hurt and angry, as she took in the sight of her Mother, through the glass entrance doors.

"Carol-Anne," Mac warned her, pulling her aside, "don't be angry…"

"But she's fine!" Carol-Anne exclaimed, "she left home and everything…She just didn't want to come…"

"No," Mac shook her head, insistently, "Your Mom tried her best to leave today, but she's still finding it hard to leave the places she feels safest. Don't be angry with her, because she never asked for any of this to happen to her."

Carol-Anne was instantly appeased and they managed to persuade Cheryl to venture out to a nearby pizza parlor for dinner that evening.

OOOO


	8. Chapter 8

AN: just a quick note, this story has turned out to be much longer than I initially anticipated. After this part, there will only be the epilogue to go. As much as I've enjoyed writing it, I think that stretching it any longer will probably cause everyone to lose interest. Please let me know if there's any confusion about the timeline; it made sense in my own warped, twisted mind! So here goes, hope this part lives up to expectations...

OOOO

Part 8

It was a lot of hard work and Mac felt a real sense of achievement the first time Carol-Anne stayed with her Mother, over a long holiday weekend, but she still missed the child and felt a little anxious about how the visit would go.

A knock at the door had Mac off the couch in a millisecond, her tv program quickly forgotten about.

"Hey!" Harm greeted her, when she opened her door, "Have you eaten yet?"

He had a sack of Chinese food in one arm, a bag of rented DVDs.

Mac smiled. She figured that Harm would remember their discussion, earlier in the week and would come to keep her company, tonight.

"Come on in," Mac held the door open, inviting him in.

OOOO

It was a day she had worked towards, but truthfully, Mac had dreaded it's coming, at the same time.

"You okay?" Harm asked, from where he was unloading the last of Carol-Anne's belongings from the trunk of his SUV. He'd volunteered his vehicle, because it had more trunk space than Mac's Vette. He reached out and gave her hand a warm squeeze. They were getting a lot closer lately and Mac was reveling in it.

"Yeah," Mac smiled, softly, "I just didn't think we'd ever reach this day. But this is what is best for her and I'm glad she's going to get her life with her Mom back."

Harm smiled and gave her a hug then they went back to transporting Carol-Anne's many belongings back to her old room.

They didn't realize that Cheryl had come back downstairs, so jumped when she spoke up behind them.

"Sorry," she apologized, "Could I have a quick word with you, Colonel?"

"Only if you promise to start calling me 'Mac,' Cheryl!" Mac told her, with a grin, but she followed the older woman into the apartment building's lobby.

"I just want to thank you for all you've done for Carol-Anne," Cheryl tried to express her sentiments, "Since day one you've promised me that you'd help us get to this point and you've really come through with your promise. You've believed in me and supported me at every step…I'm really glad that my daughter came into your care, because I might have never seen her again, if she hadn't."

"You should be very proud of yourself, of all you've accomplished," Mac hugged the older woman, "you've done all of this yourself and it was my privilege to care for Carol-Anne while you were working hard and recovering. I'll always be there to give any help, if you ever need it. All you have to do is call me."

Harm appeared from the stairwell, nodding to let Mac know that the last of Carol-Anne's belongings had been brought upstairs. Carol-Anne was behind him.

"So, you all set, kiddo?" Mac asked, with a smile.

"Everything's in my room…there's no room for me, but Mom and I will figure that one out!" the girl smiled back, "Worst comes to worst, I guess I can sleep on the couch!"

"Good," Mac said, with a laugh, "Come here and give me a hug."

The girl ran over and enveloped Mac in a bone-crushing hug.  
Harm and Cheryl move aside, to give them a little privacy.

"You and your Mom are going to be just fine," Mac whispered, "but if there's anything that you or anything she needs, you only have to give me a call. I'll come right over."

"You're still going to visit, right?" the young girl asked.

"As often as you'll let me," Mac joked, eliciting a smile from Carol-Anne, "You don't get rid of me that easily!"

"I'm glad," Carol-Anne sighed, truthfully, "And I'm going to send the ticket for my next competition in the post, as soon as they give them out at practice, this week."

"Yep," Mac nodded, "And I'll do my best to be there, I promise."

With that, she and Harm turned to go and Carol-Anne's Mom ushered her back up to their apartment.

Harm draped an arm across Mac's shoulders, as they walked to his car, reassuring her "They'll be okay."

"Yeah," Mac smiled at him with shiny eyes, "I know."

He was right, but it didn't make it any easier on the heart-strings.

Just as they were about to get into his car, the door to the building swung open and Carol-Anne emerged out and onto the front steps.

"Hey Mac!" she shouted and Mac looked up. She seemed okay, so Mac guessed that she just wanted to see them off.

"Yeah, Sweetie?" Mac asked, with an easy smile.

"Guess how much I love you…"

Mac smiled, this was a fairly regular game, particularly when Carol-Anne left on longer visits with her Mom.

"Oh, I dunno, Sweetie," Mac couldn't help but smile as she played along, "How much?"

"Thiiiisss much," Carol Anne held her arms as far apart as her arm span would allow.

Mac laughed.

"Hey Carol-Anne?" she began her part, "Guess how much I love you…"

"I dunno, how much?" the girl asked, grinning.

Mac couldn't bring herself to say the words, but she did the same, demonstrating her largest possible arm span.

With one last teary smile, Mac climbed into the car, alongside Harm and they pulled away, both waving and blowing a kiss as they left.

Carol-Anne waited until they had turned out of the street then went back upstairs.

OOOO  
Three years later…

The past three years had not been easy, but they had been rewarding and Mac knew that this extra time spent with her Mother had been incredibly beneficial for the teenage girl.

This time, however, Carol-Anne would not be returning home to her Mother.

"Do you think she can hear me?" the fifteen-year-old asked the woman who had never stopped caring about her, even after she had moved back home with her Mom.

"I don't know," Mac shook her head, watching the young woman stroke the hair of her Mother as if their positions had been reversed, "Maybe."

"Then I think I should try talking to her," Carol-Anne considered, "There's nothing to lose, huh?"

"Yeah," Mac rubbed her little sister's back, comfortingly, "that's right."

So Mac sat back and watched, as Carol-Anne talked to her mother in the hospital bed as if it were just any other day.

The doctor had told them earlier that there was no hope, Cheryl had suffered an embolism in her brain, so vast areas of it had been starved of oxygen and had consequently died. It was a lot to take in, but Mac had been surprised by the maturity that Carol-Anne had shown.

The doctors would take Cheryl off the machines that were technically keeping the rest of her body alive, but Carol-Anne had as much time as she wanted to say goodbye to her Mom first, in the privacy of a single-room.

"I'm going to get a cup of coffee from the machine," Mac eventually told the teenager, "Would you like me to get you anything?"

"No thanks," Carol-Anne replied, then turned back to her Mom.

While at the machine outside, Mac was approached by her husband, who had just come from court.

"I came as soon as I heard," Harm's expression conveyed complete shock and empathy, "I'm so sorry…Is Carol-Anne with her?"

"Yeah," Mac nodded, pulling back to catch her husband's gaze, "but Harm, I'm getting really worried about Carol-Anne…She's talking to Cheryl and at first I thought that might be beneficial, but I don't think Carol-Anne's really realized her Mom is gone…It's just the way she talking, the things she's saying…"

Harm took her hand and she showed him to the doorway to Cheryl's room. They listened for a few minutes, Mac sometimes caught Harm's gaze as if to say her point had been illustrated by something Carol-Anne had said.

But, after some time, the way Carol-Anne spoke to her Mother began to change. Mac's anxiety was quelled as she realized that the teenager was slowly letting her Mother go, accepting what the doctors had told them.

It was not always easy to hear, for Carol-Anne sometimes couldn't hold back the tears. But both she and Harm knew that it was something that Carol-Anne needed to go through, if she were ever to come to terms with her loss and move on from it.

"When her Mother's gone…" Mac went to ask her husband, but he anticipated her request.

"Of course," he nodded, his eyes gravely serious, "Of course…She'll come home with us."

OOOO

Mac didn't even bother asking her little sister and new ward if she was okay. It was clear that she was not. She had just lost her Mother, for the second time in her young life and this time for good. It was not something that a teenager took lightly. Mac knew that from experience. The parallels she had first drawn with the girl had been uncanny, but now they shared more painful experiences of life. Fifteen was too young, Mac thought to herself, too young to be without a Mother. It really wasn't fair.

So Mac did the only thing that seemed appropriate, she reached out and took Carol-Anne's hand, as the girl stood and stared at the newly filled-in grave.

"When can we put in the headstone?" Carol-Anne asked, looking to Mac.

"The people at the funeral director's said a few weeks," Mac replied, "The ground needs to settle, first."

"Is there anything else we can put in, in the meantime?" the teenager persisted, "Like a cross or something with her name on it…I don't want people walking past without knowing who she is…And what she means to me…"

"We'll ask somebody at the cemetery office," Mac nodded, "We'll sort something out."

Carol-Anne just nodded, then said a quiet goodbye to her Mother, before she and Mac set off, towards the cemetery office, by the front gates. All the other mourners had left a while before, heading for the service that Bud and Harriet Roberts were kindly holding at their house. But Carol-Anne had wanted to stay for a while, to just talk to her Mother and Mac had stayed to support her.

OOOO


	9. Chapter 9

OOOO

AN: Well, I'm afraid we've come to the end of the line, peeps! It's been a blast and thank you for all of your words of encouragement! Just another note. I know virtually nothing about how this sort of stuff operates at Annapolis. What I put together is based on what I managed to find online and learn from my wonderful beta reader! Thanks Anne! If you have any corrections or suggestions, I'd love to hear them...

OOOO

Epilogue

7 years later…

"Never thought I'd be at one of these again so soon," Harm joked, as they edged their way through the crowds to find their seats before the ceremony.

Trish and Frank were already in their assigned seats, when they got there.

"This is so exciting," Trish enthused to her son and daughter-in-law, "Carol-Anne's had to slog her guts out to get here and this is it…She'll become a Recon marine!"

"She's still my recruit," Mac contended, maternally.

'Recruit' had become something of a pet name the family used for Carol-Anne and Mattie during their time at the Military Institute in Virginia and the Academy in Annapolis, respectively (it had become obvious that 'Sweetie' and 'Hon' certainly would do anymore, now they were becoming a Naval fighter pilot and a Recon marine respectively!)

Mattie's Commissioning Ceremony had only been a few years before, now she was standing in her service dress uniform, beside her parents.

All seven of them watched in silence as a General Officer gave an opening speech, letting the midshipmen know what they could expect as commissioned officers in the United States Marine Corps and the United States Navy (this was a joint ceremony), until Carol-Anne's name was announced; 'Carol-Anne Bailey.' They all then cheered then fell back into silence as the whole company of midshipmen was sworn in by a Commissioned Officer.

"Doesn't she look beautiful in her uniform?" Trish asked, in a whisper and Harm and Mac agreed. She did look great in her uniform, but even if she didn't, Harm and Mac still would have thought she did. She had become like a daughter to them both.

"They're swearing them in, now," Harm whispered to the children, so that they didn't feel like they were being left out of the loop, not knowing what was going on.

"Mommy," Harm and Mac's four-year-old spoke up, in a loud whisper, "What's 'swearing in?' I thought it was bad to swear…"

"No, angel," Mac tried to explain, "It's not that kind of swearing…it's an oath of office, so that Carol-Anne will become a second-lieutenant and will start her career in the Marine Corps."

"Oh," the child nodded, but didn't understand much about what her Mother told her.

"I'll explain later, Cassie," Mattie whispered and the child nodded and was silent again.

Two-year-old Matthew didn't look like he understood either, but stayed admirably quiet for a child of his age.

They all watched Carol-Anne flawlessly give the oath then two officers stepped forward and pinned her bars on her.

After the First Salute was given, Carol-Anne came back to join her family. Like Mattie, Harm and Mac were both dressed in their service dress uniform for the occasion.

"Congratulations, Lieutenant," they couldn't resist greeting their newest officer, when she approached.

"Captain; Colonel, Lieutenant JG," Carol-Anne smiled as she saluted and greeted them, in order of rank.

"Get here!" Harm laughed, when they had snapped off salutes and Carol-Anne had remained where she stood, just grinning them.

She let out a burst of laughter, as she was pulled into the 'scrum,' which Trish and Frank also joined. Even the children tried, though they had to settle for hugging their parent's legs.

OOOO

Mac stepped out to join Carol-Anne on the porch, where the newest 'Rabb' addition to the USMC was staring off into the distance.

The young woman was thinking about how she'd be leaving for OCS in just a few short weeks, leaving behind the family who'd offered her a home seven years before. Leaving behind the city she'd grown up in, leaving behind her mother, who was buried in a cemetery not far from where they now lived.

"You okay?" Mac asked her.

"Yeah," Carol-Anne nodded, smiling at the woman dressed in the same Marine green as she now wore, "Just thinking about my Mom…"

"I bet she was proud of you, today," Mac smiled, wrapping an arm around the woman she'd come to love, a little sister and a daughter, both in one marine green package.

"Yeah," she nodded, her smile intensifying, "Every time I go through a moment like this, a milestone, I think back to what you told me, that first time Mom didn't show up for something important…"

"What was that?" Mac asked, for it had been seven years since the fact.

"Not to be angry at her," Carol-Anne reminded her, "That this wasn't her decision for any of that to happen to us…and you were right. No matter what, there was no way she would have chosen schizophrenia and despite the problems that it caused, she fought tooth and nail to get her life back."

"To get you back," Mac added.

"I still tell myself that," Carol-Anne continued, "every time I'm disappointed that she's not there to share the day with us. You guys are family to me in every sense of the word, of course you are, but I just…sometimes…"

"Wish that she could be there too?" Mac asked.

"Yeah," Carol-Anne nodded, "to see what's going on in my life. To tell me that she's proud of me."

The two of them contemplated this for a few minutes then turned to each other and spoke at the same time.

"You wanna go and…"

They smiled, each knowing what the other was thinking and took off for Mac's Vette, which was thankfully parked last in the driveway.

They both let out a whoop as the magnificent machine's engine roared to life and Mac reversed out, leaving the street and turning onto the road that would eventually bring them to the cemetery.

'She's always known just how to fix things!' Carol-Anne smiled to herself as she thought about the many times in her life that Mac had been there for her when others had failed, no matter what.

Mac looked over and only a look was needed to show the older woman the sentiment she was feeling.

"I'll always be there," Mac told her, as she had done so many times before, "Whatever the problem is, any time you need me…"

FIN


End file.
